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Ordinary People Taking Action
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As the first quarter of the year comes into view, many of us find ourselves reflecting not only on the goals we set on New Year's Day but also on the habits we hoped to cultivate. How’s that gym membership treating you? March is a time when resolutions often wane, and the allure of old habits creeps back in. But why is it so challenging to stick to our resolutions, and how long does it truly take to form new habits? Habits, those entrenched patterns of behavior, shape our lives more than we often realize. From the mundane to the profound, habits guide our daily decisions and actions. They serve as the brain's way of conserving energy, allowing us to operate on autopilot for much of our routine tasks. The allure of habits lies in the reward they provide our brains, creating a sense of comfort and familiarity. Yet, forming new habits isn't as simple as flipping a switch. Research suggests that it can take anywhere from 18 days to a whopping 254 days for a new habit to take root. The commonly cited figure of 66 days may be just the midpoint for many of us, highlighting the complex interplay of behavior, personality, and environment in habit formation.
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Moments6/18/2018 It’s interesting how we are quick to praise or criticize coaches of athletes, yet all agree it’s a necessary role. Yet, in the business world, we are slow to hire or truly appreciate the value of coaches. Don’t get me wrong, just like in sports, there are strong professional and executive coaches – ones that deserve praise – and there are those who are worthy of criticism. The key is to note the strengths of each coach as an individual and find one that fits your style and your needs.
I have spent the last nine days straight on the sidelines watching sports – and therefore coaches – as my son competed in two basketball tournaments and a regional soccer tournament. As I think about the importance of coaching, my son’s soccer coach comes to mind. This has everything to do with business coaching but bear with me while I lay some context around this last week of U14 soccer.
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You might recall, earlier this week I put a note on social media, Facebook and LinkedIn, asking for advice for graduating high school students. For those who left advice, they were entered into a drawing to win a FREE student coaching engagement from me.
The student coaching engagement consists of three sessions. The first session focuses on reviewing a personality assessment that will explore personal preferences, strengths, ideal environment, communication strategies and blind spots. The second session goes through a process of identifying potential majors and career matches. The third session brings everything together with a final summary that includes tips for writing college admission essays, cover letters, resume and preparing for internships and first jobs. The entire engagement is customized to meet the specific needs of the student. Before I announce the winner, I want to share the advice received.
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Insights from High School Students5/14/2018 The most insightful moments I have in my days are spending time coaching high school students. They are incredibly brilliant people, and I am beginning to believe that I learn just as much – if not more – from them as they learn from me.
I was recently with a high school student who holds himself to an incredibly high standard. Higher than most adults I coach in a professional setting. His parents send conflicting messages. They tell him he’s too hard on himself, but it’s clear that their expectations of him are as high as his own. This student keeps a list in his head of all his mistakes and all his failures, in order to do better next time. He doesn’t keep a list of his successes, and when he’s told “good job”, he’s skeptical.
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Soft Skills are like Software.4/26/2018 When I coach people, I often stress the importance of ‘soft skills’, which I define as empathy, communication, resilience, leadership, stress management, collaboration, teamwork and self-confidence. I believe there is a difference between soft skills and emotional intelligence. I know some use the terms interchangeably, but that is for another post.
Unfortunately, these qualities tend to be grossly undervalued in the workplace relative to ‘hard skills’ such as technical ability. On a more positive note, however, I’m seeing evidence of an overall uptick in awareness about soft skills.
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If it scares you, do it.3/12/2018 Back in November, I had coffee with a long-time colleague, who said to me, “If it scares you, do it.” Afterward, his comment stayed with me. It made me think of all the times I’ve heard that same, recurring theme. If it scares you, it’s meant to be. If it scares you, you’ll learn from it. If it scares you, opportunity is right there.
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Why student coaching?2/13/2018 I believe that high school and college are some of the best years of our lives – and some of the toughest years. The pressure students now face trying to identify what to do post school is tremendous. Competition to be accepted to college is at an all-time high. And it doesn’t end there. College graduates are starting their careers at a time of extremely high competition for roles. Students have so much data coming at them with regards to what they should do, can do and are supposed to do, it would even overwhelm me as an adult.
This process can be stressful for parents, too. They may struggle with knowing when to step back and when to intervene. Unintentionally, some parents can get tunnel vision. They want the best for their child but are unable to see beyond their own version of a successful future. I hear from students that they appreciate the opportunity to talk with an adult outside of their immediate network. They like the fresh perspective and advice from a virtual stranger – after they meet me and realize I am much hipper than what they envisioned when they first heard the term “life coach”.
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When Justin’s mom broke the news that she’d scheduled him a meeting with a life coach, he was skeptical. I’m 17! Why do I need a life coach? But he knew from experience that fighting Mom on this would be worse than sitting with a strange lady for ninety minutes. Before his meeting, Justin painted a mental picture of the coach. He envisioned her super old, horribly dressed, managing to take already boring information and make it even less interesting, just like his third period history teacher. |